and

After a humiliating last place finish earlier in the month, unleashing copious teas and severe despondency throughout the Girl Scouts Community, Andrew Swanson Slayed  Running Deer.

Girl Scouts have been swooning at his visage since he entered the tour, with only a brief flirtation with Rich Antczak stealing away some of the adulation. With Antczak’s  mysterious* disappearance from the tour the focus has almost fully switched back to Andy.  It is possible that the traumatic reverberations experienced by the scouts were the motivation and inspiration that triggered the placing of 4 pars and a Birdie on the Scorecard.  Swanson supposedly has a reputation for being  “putty in the hands” of women of all ages and “they say” there is nothing he has not done to please them. Picking up a stroke on each of 8, 9 and 10 gave Swanson the lead over Mike Lazarchick who was in a battle for low net with Roger Read and Marc Bohan and appeared on the way to an easy tour victory. Down the stretch the excitement raged as the gallery witnesses the emergence of a classic two man battle.  When Lazarchick lost a ball into the woods on 15, Andy picked up 2 strokes and almost instantly there was a Swanson’s Health Products spike on the stock market. He was up 4 strokes with 3 holes to play. But Noooo, the Doctor shaved off 3 strokes in the next two holes setting up an 18^th hole showdown. Because he has a lower handicap, winning the final hole would have resulted in a final score tie which would steal the victory.  The Girl Scouts cheered when Andy dropped a beauty for bogey. In the Polish American Tavern there was a rising excitement, and then a gasping sigh, before the silence descended. LZ ringed the cup for par and tapped in the second place bogey.

A few shots back, Charlie Ranucci, Roger Read and Marc Bohan rounded out the top five finishers.

At the Italian Bistro, Bruno was very confused. He could not understand why Art Czachorowski  and Don St George did not show up for the tournament after climbing to the top of the league standings. Apparently, there was a picture of Art being circulated from the Gopher Bar, a known Conservatives Hang Out, supposedly taken at a seaside vista. They were talking about a broadcast by Rush Limbaugh claiming,  Czak in his Blue Miata and with fancy dancing steps has become so irresistible to women he was kept out all night and slept through the mid-day  scheduled event! Linbaugh then claimed that Don St George forgot about the tournament, suggesting that Don is really as old as was reported in the last issue of the OCAGA News Blog.

The Godfather was sipping Amaro Lucano, a gift from the Vena family in Italy. He told Bruno that “we” do not really believe all the “hyped up, sensationalist” stories that come out of Limbaugh’s mouth and those guys are not Italian, so why be concerned? Bruno of course began to speak about Linbaugh’s  remarks, who while referring people to the December OCAGA News Blog, suggested that  League Champion Rob Juliano was now boycotting tournament play because Mia Bohan was getting more attention than he was. The diatribe went back to when Rob did not react well to a comment by Marc at the banquet, “Who is really the champion in the eyes of the public, I shot an 82!” Of course, early in the Championship match, Rob was boasting about winning straight up, even suggesting he wouldn’t need a tainted victory by handicap points.  The OCAGA Investigative reporter can not confirm that Rob Juliano now has a serious lack of confidence. The Godfather interrupted  Bruno’s train of thoughts and told him that people like Limbaugh distort the real news by bringing some truths and adding their own twist to get listeners in a frenzy.  As Bruno calmed down, he heard soft and gentle words, “Who is now on top of the leader board?”   A single was given for all patrons to get  round of  drinks on the house.

AFTER THREE – THE RACE TO THE FINAL FOUR

• 59 Ranucci, Charles
• 53 Lazarchick, Mike
• 52 Bohan, Marc
• 49 Hamm, Glen
• 47 Read Roger
• 44 Czachorowski, Art
• 42 St George, Don
• 37 Shaw, Scott
• 36 Swanson, Andy
• 32 Juliano, Rob
• 23 Beuchner, John
• 21 Borillo, Ed
• 17 O’Brien, Mike
• 0   Stocker, Phil

The Godfather just smiled. He knew that Big Charlie moved up to Gold Tees and is a serious threat to the Big Hitters. He told Bruno that Charlie leads the pack without breaking 90 this season on the OCAGA Tour,  while virtually all his other scores that are in the formula to calculate his official handicap are in the 80s.

At the Polish American Tavern, Scotty Shaw was the big topic of discussion. Uncharacteristically, the OCAGA President took 32 strokes on the first 4 holes while whispers flourished in the  gallery about weakness and a noticed bandage.  Another tour player asked if him if he had tried to take his own life by slashing his wrists. Scotty’s story was easy to believe, that he slipped and accidentally gashed himself with a sharp tool. Blood Letting did come up in conversation and of course history buffs brought up George Washington’s Death as reported on PBS. The conversation died as soon as someone remarked that the President says that only Fox News and the OCAGA News Blog  are not False News Sources.

At the English Pub, young Roger Read was finally getting some attention, long recognized as “a pleasant gentleman with a lady friend” and quoted as saying, “We are out here to have fun!” Roger started playing golf very early in his youth and owns a magnificent game. After the tournament he lamented a late errant shot that rolled off the fairway and got lost in the woods ending up in a disappointing 7.  Easily half a dozen of his putts were just so close , but did not drop on slick greens most players felt were quite a challenge, yet he finished with the low gross (68) on the day. Just two points out of fourth place, Vegas is getting action on his possible trip to the finals.

John Buechner displayed moments of brilliance, delivering drives and iron shots much improved over past seasons. Unfortunately, he fell in love and recently got married to an incredibly beautiful lady and just has not played enough golf to stay consistent over 18 holes.  While John is being viewed as most improved, Hamm fans are asking what happened to their 4 Time Champion.  However, with Glenn now in fourth place overall, we have seen a rash of Hamm’s Commercials back on the air waves.

SCATS

Roger Read continues to lead in the total for overall SCAT Money, moving closer to Marc Bohan in  Scratch and being the outright leader in Handicapped.

Next:

EMERALD LINKS            June 4, 2017

*For a while, a rumor circulated that Rich Antczak was kidnapped by a rouge** group of disenfranchised, dominatrix girl scouts and was being used as a sex toy. However, other sources reported that Antczak recently organized a secret golf excursion (purportedly known to select inner circle) to Ocean City Maryland, which was rained out. The very next day, a group of scouts stalking Swanson, reported that  he and Antcczak  were seen boarding a plane for Fort Lauderdale, ostensibly to play golf.

** This is not a misspelling. Who would believe that Girl scouts would be rogue?

OCAGA NEWS Blog Disclaimer: The OCAGA News Blog is not responsible for inaccurately reported information, spelling mistaks or grammaticaly incorrect sentense or paragraphical  contructions  and  will only print stories with permission of the depicted subjects or someone who knows the depicted subject.