Paul Ruth set a new OCAGA Record for the lowest Net Score in the History of the Tour, a whopping 18 strokes under par, besting the Smoking Hot Andrew Swanson by 4 strokes and leaving point leader Michael Lazarchick in the dust. Ruth’s fans were ecstatic, watching Paul move closer to the season point lead, bathing in the sweet healing salve for the lingering wounds from the A Division Championship last fall at Emerald Links. Paul had taken an early, significant lead against the Doctor, delivering a stellar performance on the front 9. But on the back, LZ continued to chip away at the lead, finally catching Ruth on 16 with a Birdie and going ahead on 17th with a par and sinking a 20 foot putt to tie the 18th to secure the title. This victory at Golden Pheasant was especially sweet sending a message to his fans and the Tour, Paul Ruth is now a force to be reckoned with!
Sarah Spain was broadcasting for ESPN: Five time Champion Art Czachorowski came out of the gate on fire, dropping par on the first three holes staying a stroke ahead of Charlie Ranucci for low net. When Sarah asked him where he was last tournament, Art said he forgot and suspected that is also why Don St George has not shown up this year. Richie Antczak returned after a long while, but just the possibility sent the girls scouts into delirium. Richie left the tour when they would not leave him alone.
Antczak Gallery
Sarah sighed, an obvious bridge, as she related Young Roger Read was also back, which eliciting the comment of “how dreamy is his swing” supposedly from the Duchess of Marlborough who was visiting the English Pub. Rumor had it, Mike O’Brien was in a back booth in the Irish Pub sucking down Guinness, lamenting that at best he could play 9 Holes since his Pacemaker was installed. When Eddie Borillo heard that President Trump took money from the National Parks for the July 4th “Parade,” Eddie immediately went touring when possible closings entered the conversations. Marc Bohan posted in social media that plants from outer space landed on his property and he has not been heard from since! Meanwhile, Lazarchick was just barely able to get to the tournament in time to play in the last group. There was no confirmation at press time that
Ruth Fanatics
Ruth Fanatics changed road signs to confuse Lazarchick’s driver on the route they took through the Pine Barrens. However there was group hissing and laughing when he popped up his first drive, sliced well off the 2nd green in his attempt to hit the short par three, then hit his drive on 3 out of bounds and lost a fairway wood left into the stream approaching the 4th.
Indeed, at the turn, Paul and Charlie shared low gross at 44 strokes, but counting handicaps, Andy Swanson was in the lead by 2 over Ruth with Phil Stocker still within striking distance. Charlie and LZ were a full 10 strokes off the pace. Yeah, it was Andy and Paul head to head, shooting lights out golf! Andy’s dominating performance to take the last tournament just a few weeks ago seemed to still be in play. But Paul Ruth was giving him a run for the money. The lead switched back and forth and after 16 they were dead even.
Purportedly, according to Sarah, both were seen taking edibles out of their golf bags. Of course, underground currents of scurrilous rumors and gossip have questioned whether or 
not Swanson Health Food Products contain any performance enhancement 
substances. While they claim osteoarthritis pain relief and gastrointestinal relief after consuming green lipped mussels, Swanson’s Body has women of all ages swooning,
Seen again following Swanson
stimulating speculation that there is possibly more to this product, missed by USGA inspections! Meanwhile does anyone doubt what Paul is consuming? With stock soaring new boxes of 
Baby Ruth Candy Bars are supposedly shipped to his door on a regular basis. Signs have increased in the gallery with his success this season. Vintage posters are now commanding unprecedented prices in auctions especially the one where a young Paul Ruth supposedly was portrayed. Look below the Candy Bar.
While all these allegation will be revealed with further exploration by the OCAGA Investigative Reporter, what is clear was the resounding surge of Paul Ruth over the last two holes. Andy finally appeared to fall victim to his high handicap suffering through a triple and double bogey, while Paul flirted with a Par, Birdie finish. He shook the Tour placing an 85 on the Scorecard!!!!
Points After 4
- 84 Lazarchick, Michael
- 82 Ruth, Paul
- 64 Juliano, Rob
- 63 Stocker, Phil
- 61 Swanson, Andy
- 56 Hamm, Glenn
- 56 Ranucci, Charlie
- 47 Swiederk, Bob
- 43 Bohan, Marc
- 41 Czachorowski, Art
- 37 Kissinger, Dave
- 34 Borillo, Ed
- 8 Gardener
- 0 O’Brien
SCATS –
Paul Ruth and Andy Swanson Fleeced the Competition each taking in 27 Big Ones.
Next Greate Bay (Swanson’s Home Course) July 28th at 11:20
Ocean City Amateur Golf Association 