It was a delightful day. The cooler morning air with a slight breeze was quite refreshing. The fairways looked beautiful and the putting green was fast.  At  the Polish American Tavern Stanislaw and Donaldeusz watched the Doctor hit his opening drive with distance and a slight draw straight down the left side of the fairway, safe from the large menacing tree that appeared to be blocking access to the par five green. It was a new venue for the OCAGA Tour, so they were unaware that the tree was far beyond LZs driving distance.  A wood and short iron later, he was putting six feet uphill for Birdie. They groaned when the ball stopped one half inch from dropping in the center of the cup. Donaldeusz told Stanislaw that Czach always aimed past the hole because they never drop if you do not reach the cup. He was the current very conservative President of the Promenade Management Association and a long time critic of LZ, especially when Lazarchick supported President Joe Champion allowing women to compete. He was infuriated when Stephanie Champion was able to out drive Art Czachorowski playing from the same tee box. Donaldeusz inherited considerable money from his father who owned a lot of property before the Promenade was renovated. There was an unconfirmed rumor that his father “bought” his son a Vietnam deferment for bone spurs from a doctor tenant. Donaldeusz called LZ and other veterans Suckers and Losers, with the exception of Art, the Five Time OCAGA Champion who was quite politically conservative. Meanwhile, the Girl Scouts were selling home made “happy” cookies, fundraising for a winter trip to Arizona. They took every little opportunity to Chant, Richie Richie He’s Too Cute. Even when he missed a shot and grimaced, they vocalized with gentler melodic consoling tones. Richie Antczak was in his last local outing before returning out West and Andy Swanson was a guest on the Tour Across the Pond.

The Hoffbrauhaus was again rocking with joy. When Bill Finger finally clobbered a drive into play, in unison,  they loudly proclaimed,  William Tiberius, The Hammer!  By making up the Green Tree Tournament  he missed while on the Mrytle Beach Tour, Bill elevated himself into the battle for the Final Four. The patrons were ecstatic when John Larson played the first four holes Par, Par, Par, Birdie. The rivalry with Lazarchick was clearly now a sub plot every tournament. After winning Rookie of the Year, finishing with the highest Regular Season Point Total, while he fell to OB in the Championship he did beat LZ. He has a big lead this season, has a lower handicap and has prevailed more often in recent play. Indeed, on this day he was giving a stroke at Westwood and only getting four strokes from Marc Bohan.

At Le Petit Café, Pierre was disgruntled watching Marc open with four straight bogeys before a par was sunk. He had put Poutine on the menu, a delightful treat that consists of thickly cut house made potato fries drizzled in gravy and smothered in semi-creamy cheese curds. There was a very large crowd enjoying Unibroue craft beers fermented through a method established by Trappist monks for over two centuries. They fully expected Marc to make one of his late season charges into the final four. At the turn his low gross 43 was tied with John, and LZ.

At St Brigid Chapel, Sister Mary Pat was still comforting praying Fiadh. When they announced in the Irish Pub that OB was still suffering from a pinched nerve she started a Petition to allow all OCAGA Champions the opportunity to defend their Champion Title  automatically the next season. While that would take agreement from everyone connected with the tour, the entrance of players with ability to immediately compete is a different story, Using a GHIN index is written in The Rules. Jim Cummings elicited significant cheers within the Pub with very nice drives and approach shots. Unfortunately, too many three putts on fast tricky greens and the third lowest handicap kept him out of contention. OB is expected to return to the Tour at Centerton.

The Italian Bistro was packed. After Dave Kissinger dominated Wedgewood early in  the season and still remains in contention for the Final Four, patrons were hopeful for a rebound from his last outing. Of course, Bob Wescott shocked the Tour with his First Tournament Victory, never before accomplished on the OCAGA Tour. The Godfather put Peroni Nastro Azzurro “permanently” on tap passing on the discount he received for his decision. Both players stimulated jumping with splashing Peroni, Dave for his distance and Bob for his accuracy. No question, the pair elicited optimism not seen since Eddie Borillo was in his prime playing along side of Big Charlie Ranucci and Little Tony Sickler. Both struggled with putts however, each playing the last four holes 9 over par.  

The Babbity Bowser brought the Wee Heavy, Old Chub Scottish Ale back on Tap with the coming of Autumn, celebrating the fine play of Keith MacGregor, who incidentally was in the thick of competition once again, placing a sweet, gross 45 on the scorecard. They were lobbying for Rookie of the Year with napkin messages inside and signs outside their door.   There was additional excitement throughout the Bowser with the entrance to the Tour of Dan Swanson. While golf is fairly new for him, he is fully addicted playing 18, 27 or 36 holes, day after day. He beat LZ in a practice round a week before the tournament. Alasdair told Angus that Dan has Game! They too both struggled with putting and posted 50 on the back. 

Joe Champion continued to stay in competition for the Final Four finishing fifth. His distance off the tees and accuracy on the par threes keep his handicap down and he held the tiebreaker against MacGregor, sixth and Dan Swanson, seventh. Antczak, Kissinger, Wescott and Cummings with the most finishing putts, were eighth, ninth, tenth and eleventh respectively.  

With the highest handicap Bill Finger held the lead entering the back nine. LZ, Larson and of course Bohan, were within  striking distance. The English Pub was drawn in with thoughts of a comeback when Bob Wescott dropped two pars and two bogeys. With a similar, not so long but in play game, Lazarchick did the same, grabbing the attention of barmaid Agnieszka in the Tavern. She shushed, in her opinion, always pessimistic, nasty speaking, self absorbed Donaldeusz who continually pontificated that he knew the most about golf and the OCAGA Tour and virtually everything else. He proclaimed that the OCAGA Blog was fake news and Lazarchick did not really win any Tournaments, much less Championships.

The OCAGA News Blog issued a press release: Responding to scurrilous public remarks, OCAGA News, the fastest growing entity reporting exclusively on the OCAGA Tour, recipient of multiple accolades for scholastic news reporting and truth in journalism, home of the Pulitzer Prize winning Investigative Reporter, unequivocally declares to be an unimpeachable witness and purveyor of Promenade Information with no intention to engage in malfeasance, and is clearly far closer to an online bibliotheca than a fake news conduit.

Donaldeusz did not think Agnieszka from the working class, the first Polish woman ever to be nominated should be allowed to run for the Presidency. He stated that she was not qualified and suggested she had no understanding of the golf, tournaments or Promenade Business. She felt her opponent was clearly distorting the reality of what everyone was seeing and told everyone to open their eyes because the Doctor’s chipping is sharp and his putts are dropping more often than not. Indeed, Lazarchick caught Bill on 11 and went ahead on 12, while both Marc and John played the first four holes on the back five over par. 

So often these tournament come down to the last two holes and it is not uncommon to see a last hole victory “steal.” Marc could only drop two for par on the last nine, including 17, just not enough finishing 4th. Bill Finger was 5 over on the last two holding on to 3rd place.  Other than the opener and the almost last place finish when John won his first ever OCAGA tournament at Greentree, LZ and John have been battling with the win going to whoever had the lowest handicap. Getting one stroke The Doctor was up by one at the turn at Westwood. He added two more taking 11 and 13. John was able to shave one away on 15. The tension shot up! They both parred the 17th hole. Going into 18 it was LZ up by two as excitement was about to burst. He slammed the door shut sinking his eight par, beating second place John by four stroke. Donaldeusz left the tavern as  Angieszka lead a rousing cheer with a Yeungling Bath from quickly raised mugs filling the air. She was standing under the newly hung pictures of Lazarchick’s Cafe, the model for the Polish American Tavern built on the Promenade.

RESULTS

SCORECARD

POINTS John Larson maintains his regular season lead. Lazarchick took a giant step towards the playoffs vaulting into second place with a win and the absence of Andy Swanson at Westwood. Andy will have the opportunity to make up the tournament, but he may not need the points. Bill Finger playing from the White tees added 19 points making up Green Tree and with a strong finish at Westwood, edged into the top four. Joe Champion, Keith MacGregor and Marc Bohan, all very much in contention, are looking for a strong showing at Centerton. Kissinger needs to Win.

• 152 Lawson
• 133 Lazarchick
• 124 Swanson, A
• 117 Finger
• 116 Champion
• 114 MacGregor
• 112 Bohan
• 106 Kissinger
• 64 Stocker
• 57 Antczak
• 48 Fleming
• 36 Wescott
• 34 Borillo
• 24 O’Brien
• 19 Schuck
• 14 Swanson, D
• 10 Cummings

SCATS

Lawson, Lazarchick, Champion and Kissinger made a SCATS profit.

NEXT

CENTERTON SEPTEMBER 25TH WEDNESDAY 9:30